As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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