you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
