member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
