I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
