We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Randomize
