Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
