i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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