just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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