this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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