I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
