ya dads aren't the best wingmen
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
