Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
