Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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