whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
