First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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