I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
