i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
