Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My life is pants optional.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
