So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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