you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
