hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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