Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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