she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
