So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
