I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize