Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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