there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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