I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize