I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
