when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
