man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
