I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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