so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
