What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
operation harelip BJ is a go
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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