I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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