that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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