Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
