is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
