I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
