all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
