Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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