we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
