Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
