Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
