Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
