Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
