Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
