She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
