I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
