STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
