dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
