To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize