he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
