Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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