Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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