Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize