she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
