so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
