Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I love how my cats smell like pot.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
