she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
They are going to name an STD after you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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